Blitzø

I absolutely love your stories! Again, a little pointer...
When you use quotations, make a new paragraph for each person speaking.
other than that, it was absolutely wonderful!

This was amazing! I loved the emotion you put into this. Keep writing like this and you could be a published author! Also, when you write in quotations, start with a capital, even if it's not the beginning of the sentence. Here's an example:
Leo looked off into the distance and whispered, "It's all my fault..."
I hope this helps you in the future! And if you just forgot to, I apologize.