United States • 4 y/oReviews Received
you are writing good.....its meaningful....keep going sweetheart
Love it! Wow amazing😱☺ï¸ðŸ˜Š you are a star.
You could start by categorizing your work correctly. This isn't satire.
You start well, evoking sound as well as sight. Let me make a suggestion about the ending.
If they nearly get trapped in the house but break out with difficulty it adds to the tension, If the door was jammed and couldn't be opened but they broke through with an effort or scrambled out through a window, that would add excitement. You say 'receding into the forest.' If someone else is watching you leave you're receding from their point of view. From your own point of view you're pushing through the forest.
I hope this helps and you continue writing. You'll improve with practice and advice.
Uhhh.....
What did I just read?
I'm so lost with words.
But I will say, it definitely is different and there does seem to be a concentrated idea.
So you got that goin' at least.
Okay... this was something else. I don't think it made much sense; at first, you begin praising this "Omega Lizard"... but in the end, you seem to be crushing the lizard with your bare hands with hatred so pure I thought only my 52-year-old gym teacher could possess it. I just wish that there was more information on why you so suddenly turned on this lord and why you were even praising a lizard in the first place...
It also might've been a bit much that you put "Religious" as your genre. You never know what people might find offensive these days.
But of course, you can believe in whatever you want to. I'm n̶o̶t̶ one to judge.