This is neat.
You created the characters and their relationships right away giving a detailed description of how they are and act leaving little to no blank space.
For your comment at the end, pessimism shouldn't have to be 'forgiven' like it's a sin because it tells a truth of reality.
This is Ivan Drago hard hitting (sorry for the Rocky reference lol).
I like the simplicity to the idea and how it is tied in with the actual storyline of Momo.
Funny I read this because I got a call from her 😨
Dude. Aaron. Hermano.
You got me with this one.
The words and how it flows, the structure of the sentences, like dang son. You got words, style and rhythm that can grab anyone's attention.
I also like the whole idea of how you made a piece of string more than a piece of string as it can be transformed into something beautiful.
P.S: You could totally rap this poem.
I agree with what you say, but for how you connect the idea of a happy life and the idea of 'gender and sex' doesn't really fit together.
Glad you brought up the topic though :)
I'd say this is pretty good. Also amazed by how many areas of writing you delved into.
I just so happen to come back to this story to see that people are making "leading-statements of belief" towards others and that saddens me. It seems that people just assume, based on the comment counts of positives and negatives, that people are judging others based on a belief/opinion even when they didn't express it.
So I deleted my first review on this poem that gave this 4 stars because we have opposite beliefs and now this is a new review and I give this writing all stars even when I have an opposite belief/opinion.
Thank you AaronTheRocker for writing something that may go against other's belief/opinion, because you are playing by the "rules" of human nature.
Reality hits hard sometimes whether we accept it or not.