1) That was written well, nothing grammatically wrong as far as i can tell.
2) I can completely relate to this story
Good story keep writing!
3) I sort of noticed this while reading but, add a c to Iares to get Icares which describes that friend and switch the k in miko to an n for mino which describes that friend.
Just something i noticed.
Well that is one way to look at depression and I can agree.
1 great story
2 have you had depression? theres enough reason to think so...
3 what is up with VHQNKHOY? those keys are not close enough to be random.
enjoyed the story though keep writing
I enjoyed reading this. i have never seen anyone rhyme seed so much and make it interesting. great job!
also were you thinking of Dr. Suess when you wrote this? it just has that sort of a feel to it.
1. Great job, there are a few errors here and there but nothing major. Does make you wish it were that easy to fix though.
2. You based this mostly off a comic? I know you said it but still this is mostly off a comic?
Why are you apologizing? You have nothing to apologize for. This is well written possibly a few minor things here and there to change and you get the point across that you're lost and broken. Good job.
Slightly off topic note:
Your author note wasn't needed. If you were going to simply erase it you wouldn't have submitted it in the first place.
As grim as that message is its the truth. Those who do good always seem to end up with a shorter life. It was well written.
Well I have to ask: Has this happened to you?
It was well written and flows well. If I were to change anything it would probably be to break it up some,although thats me and its a minor thing.Great Job!