United States • 25 y/o • MaleReviews Given
The farther you go with this the more I want to know. Your story is an interesting one and not something you see written out like this. However, the way this was written feels off. It might be due to how the lines broke and I'm fairly certain there is missing punctuation. It was a little hard to read.
The content was good just needed a little editing I feel.
Please keep writing!
1) That was written well, nothing grammatically wrong as far as i can tell.
2) I can completely relate to this story
Good story keep writing!
3) I sort of noticed this while reading but, add a c to Iares to get Icares which describes that friend and switch the k in miko to an n for mino which describes that friend.
Just something i noticed.
1 great story
2 have you had depression? theres enough reason to think so...
3 what is up with VHQNKHOY? those keys are not close enough to be random.
enjoyed the story though keep writing
I'm at a loss for words.
The way you phrased things makes it sound like English isn't your native language. It's kind of choppy, but if you can get over that, it actually makes it fun to read. This might just be me.
I enjoyed reading this. You could probably work on how you phrase things to make it sound more natural, but I kind of enjoy it as is.
I look forward to seeing the next part of this story.
Well that is one way to look at depression and I can agree.
1 I understand how you were feeling.( Hopefully you don't have this pain in the future.)
2 Whats with the Spanish in the author notes?
3 There are several spelling mistakes.
Enjoy the times when you don't feel like (insert negative feeling here), for those times are a small piece of happiness.
Its great the story not the depression or loss for that matter. Yeah I get your feeling on depression and the whole thing flows nicely.
This was well written and I kind of have to ask
Did this happen to you? Its hard to tell over text if such a thing did or didn't and it does affect the impact of the reading some,well might just be me.