IanG

Overall a good evocation of a puzzling and ultimately tragic episode. You clearly worked hard on researching it.

You might've described the onlooker's emotions in more detail. Is he thrilled, anxious or both as he follows their progress? That said you describe Everest well.

You wrote some good banter and an exciting rescue scene. Well done.

Its possible to learn from a bad experience and so avoid repeating it. If you meet another worthless boy you'll spot danger signs sooner and, I hope, back off before it gets that bad.

There's a lot of bad advice out there when it comes to relationships. Some people share only the good times and cover up the bad. Others have a vested interest in putting other people down. It doesn't have to be like the relationship you describe but some would like you to think there's no alternative. If you meet someone like your ex again, hold out for someone better. There's plenty of time for him to come along.

A lot of writers feel like this at times. I sometimes do. For a recent story I wstched a documentary about lifeboat crews, then used a similat scenario in my story 'Dark Midwinter Night.' The story took a respectable number of hits but not as many as some of mine and not as many as I hoped for. Pethaps I didn't convey all I wanted to. What do other people think?

The frustrations you're describing are quite common for writers and other people too. That doesn't make it all right but it means people can do their best and carry on despite the issues. The clay metaphore is good.

Fresh flowers that smell etherial, brought in from the garden" reads better than "fresh flowers brought in from the garden that smell etherial." Otherwise your descriptions are excellent. A simple story but beautifully told.

The sun metephore is good. Sometimes I Iwake up feeling strong emotions from a dream yet can't recall the details of it