IanG

In my country, the United Kingdom, crash helmets for motorcyclists have been compulsory for decades. Then again laws in other countries may be different. If the scenario won't work today could you set it in the past? Countries that make helmets compulsory now may not always have done so. The twist would then be a good one.

'Thoughts of her would keep me up through the night' reads better than 'her thoughts would...etc.'

Nevertheless its a sharp and disturbing twist in the final lines. You handled that well. You do right in bringing smell as well as sight into your descriptions. Keep writing.

I hope this doesn't seem patronising but there's still time for you to find someone, still time for new experiences including a passion you never felt before. In the past, people sometimes rushed into marriage young because the average lifespan was shorter then than now. Today the average person has more time to wait, and to look around before settling down. Don't let anyone pressure you into a commitment if you're not sure.

Your descriptions are good but you could add a little more tension. If the kitten tries to run and Amy looses sight of it she could go home, get a piece of fish or chicken and lay it down where the animal was. Then after an anxious wait it could return, drawn by the scent of food and this time let Amy take it. A little more difficulty would make a more interesting story.
Its a good choice of subject.
I've got a cat story on page 11 of this site, 'Misty's Cry,' and there are more besides.

I like your descriptive style and the scenario is convincing, keep it up.

I hpoe readers take courage from reading this. If ever you considered taking yout life I hope that's behind you now.

Its good that you're advising others in a similar situation, it shows courage and optimism. I hope things get better for you soon.

This is a simple but effective piece. Well done.