Reviews Given
Final paragraph was my favorite, good story.
I liked your idea that "Life is not as complex as you may think" and I liked that line. Was a pretty good and intriguing message. I also liked your line "Don't grow old regretting your life, grow old roaming free."
The poem was really well put together, grabbed your attention, and most importantly, left an impression. It's brave of you to share your story, and because of that bravery, I have faith that you'll also be strong enough to fight this.
The point of art is to cause controversy by bringing an issue to light- whether it be an internal conflict, a political issue, a human rights issue or anything else. Thank you for utilizing art in its purposed form.
You often incorporate a sort of song style with background singers through parenthesis, it's almost a traditional trait of yours so I appreciate that was put in here again. I like how you personified Time and Nature as well as the lines "fragile life turned broken glass." This poem is a story with beautiful structure and perspective that catches your gut and makes you think. Thanks, again, for sharing a piece of your mind with us.
This sounds a lot like the terrifying book Revelation. I like how you started the poem how you did, with sin breeding in the mind and taking over all. So true. The whole word play on reign and rain is cool here too. Definitely will be a scary time. But hey, we know the ending that Jesus wins. I also like these lines: "Danger it lives, freedom it dies/ rewriting rules of humanity." The entire push-and-pull of evil and good here is a cool topic. Our world is such a wild place.
I'm giving this five stars because of the heart you put in it. Just the tip of the iceberg of so much policing and oppression against women in this culture. You are worth more than all of it. Thanks for sharing these truths.
I like the repetition you did with the beginning and the end. There were some grammatical errors, such as "..we were told we were pretty but men we didn't know" should by "by men" instead. My favorite lines are "we have been silenced to our opinions" and "we have been told that what we say is wrong." Such a strong and bold piece.
I definitely agree, there's actually a criminal justice term called the Labeling Theory that explores exactly that. It's usually more used with addicts, criminals, homeless, and those labels, but it applies for all. Thanks for letting us into your brain.
Truly so many untold stories inside of this beautiful earth. I really like the delicate beauty of Aurora borealis described as a scar demanding to be seen, as a wild spirit burning across the sky. Really good subtlety here. I also liked the stanza about blood and how the darkness of things can cause a fire in us.
also, I looked up Haŋhépi Ižáŋžaŋ and all I found was a recipe for pudding (not sure how that correlated) but I like how it's unknown to me. It adds to the mystery of earths' treasures painted in the poem.