United States • 21 y/oReviews Given
I like the way you tried to improve your rhyming skills! Good job!
This is another amazing way to look at life, we all have trials and this poem illustrates that fact in a way all of us can appreciate.
That was a very clever way to convey a story. It was very inspiring. Good job!
I loved the idea of it. It was very characteristic and it wasn't so bad
Way to truly speak your mind here! Sometimes that's hard to do in this world when people shut down your opinion without really giving you a chance to express them. Good job.
I think it's amusing, it definitely shows a lot about you. And in remark to your comment below your title, I should have you know that NO story is a waste of time. And can be later built upon or even viewed by a reader as creative and something they NEVER would have thought of themselves. I also thought the jump between the point of view of the story being written within your story to the author in your actual story, was an interesting element that definitely added to your story.
In answer to your question about Lli's irrational assumptions about his parents' deaths, it might be cause to the fact that we as people(regardless of our class, since this seems to play no role in our ability to rationalize) have a tendency to find a reason for everything. We are constantly looking to place a label or reason on everything so that we can better comprehend it. So in sence, it would seem that Lli is so shocked about this traumatic event, that he abandoned any rational conclusions(emotions tend to cloud all rational thoughts, which seems to be why many characters would seek revenge) and was simply trying to come to a conclusion that makes sense to him, wich in this case is that there HAS to be a "reason" for their deaths.
Very different style of writing than I'm used to, probably could use some grammar touch ups, but other than that I loved it!
I´m a little bit of a Hamilton nerd because my sister used to listen to it all of the time...XD...Gotta love Hamilton