India • 32 y/o • MaleReviews Received
omae wa mo shinderu.
Aw, what a lovely little tale. I really enjoyed this story. There were a couple of errors here and there, but nobody is perfect. Beautifully written, and a job well done.
This is really cool it has every element inside the words your right sad emotional but a feel good after.Thnks
whoa
This is so good write more!
Great story! This story brought my heart out!
I for one enjoy this story greatly! It is heartwarming, yet sad. Great job!
Trying to cram such a large subject into so few words leaves glaring gaps in your narrative. What we are left with is a hors d'oeuvre instead of a banquet.
Allowing for the fact that English is not your first language, some of the phraseology is stilted and clumsy. Try to write in a more natural voice rather than one that does not sit well with you. You will find it much easier - and you'll ,learn a lot more, too :-)
Do keep writing.