United States • 25 y/o • FemaleReviews Received
Still like this.
I agree with what others have said about how the shift in tone is good; it makes it feel like the story is progressing, as we start to see what some of the real issues with the characters' lives are.
I'm intrigued to learn that Raven is the only one of his kind, and I'm curious to see what happens from here.
To add to the mushroom conversation: I got the idea that she was just going on about something she knew, rather than meant to have any special significance. Of course, she could tell Raven about more things besides just the mushrooms, and that might make the point a little better anyway, for the story and the point Arin is trying to make. If that makes sense.
I like the role that knowledge plays as a sort of sentient thing in this story, rather than just a fact like you might expect.
Honestly I really like this poem, even if it is a bit melodramatic. I like how it's all kind of just stated as a fact, not as the speaker necessarily feeling sorry for themselves. It's an interesting idea.
I like the way this is written; how it's an analogy, but also just a fun little snippet of some gossips at a ball or whatever. It's fun to imagine what the people I know in life would wear, or what I would wear, in this world. Nice work.
