United States • 19 y/o • FemaleReviews Received
whoa. i really relate to this. i feel like everyone needs a reminder that their problems are just as important as everyone elses, and that its okay to ask for help. great job! :D
This really spoke to my heart. You did a great job putting these emotions into words. I can't wait to read more of your works!
This is an interesting concept to a story. It gives me some strange Harry Potter vibes for some reason (maybe because of the my thought-relation with this and the mermaids). This also taps into my fear of deep dark water so...yeah, spooky.
There were some parts to this story where the grammar got to me so I had to re-read a few parts (that may just be me though) and I need more info on these characters and the backstory on this.
Hope you write more for this story because if this is it, I may just cry because this is something vastly different not just the plot, but structure wise also with the intro and the sizes of paragraphs being consistent with phenomenal breaks.
Nice!
It'd be nice if you could make separate paragraphs for each time frame like one for 7am and what he did and so on. I don't know if there's a second part or not but there's no antagonist so the story isn't really building up to anything and if there's no antagonist then you can't build up suspense either in the beginning to hook readers to read. I don't wanna leave a bad stain on this so I'll give you a four out of five since it's pretty long and has potential.