United States • 19 y/o • FemaleReviews Given
no. no no no. you can not just end it there! the ending was so short! maybe write another version of the story that is not just a text but more of a narrative? but dont leave it like this!
its cute. a different stile than i usually read or write, but i like it. how long have you been writing poems? also lol i hate when there is no category for what we write, hahaha.
nice i like the story, i know it is a short story, but maybe next time add some more details? idk but it was good
is this for someone or just imagination?
Okay a few things, on the very first sentence there should be a comma after right, in the 2nd paragraph, the last part should end with a period. In the last paragraph at the beginning I think you meant while instead of why, and then when the dialogue switches to the next person, a new paragraph should start. Okay, now on to the next part, I thought it was really great and cant wait to read part 2. Love the plot so far.
you lost me a little and the story was a little tense, try to be more unique, still, it was cool.
i like that you shared what is going on in your life and i guess it think that it is one of those situations that you have to be really patient and just be there for her as much as you can to prove that you aren't going anywhere and that she can trust you. as far as text, you have a lot of grammatical errors and it was kind of hard to understand but i hope everything turns out fine for you