United States • 23 y/o • FemaleReviews Received
Wow, that was cool. You think you are going to write more? That would be awesome. I'm hooked. :) -Kaleigh
Great job! I love love love it! I've never experienced what the poem is describing but now I had this mini craze a track of frustration and grief. Wow.
-KP
I think Apeman (sorry if I got the name wrong) is partially right. A series of sad stories isn't bad when you know that you can produce happier, livelier stories that make your heart swell or eyes tear. I think that the story was amazing and I know that you continued with it because I saw the titles for the next ones, so good job!
-KP
It sounds great, a few gaps but they can close easily. You really got me wondering about what's going to happen!!
-KP
You're doing great so far, I'm not sure if I'm much help but there are some places when the reader can get confused, like when they are suddenly in Burger King. How long had they wed on the road? Where are they?
It's great, really showing the relationship of the two friends in an awkward but understanding way. Try reading it out loud, it makes the world of a difference.
Love your work!
-KP
Oh my gosh it sounds awesome, but this guy shows up out of no where and you never described their destination enough to tell the reader what senery to imagine. I love the plot, though. Please write a sixth!
Wow. I feel like that a lot! You just made me feel a little better. Thanks!