United States • 23 y/o • FemaleReviews Given
Overall the story was fine but, I think in this one extremely rare case I slightly agree with Apemann. Other than that it was good.
This story is good, however it is almost exactly like one I wrote before this...
I thought this piece was beautifully written. It's a lovely poem
A lovely poem about heart break
A very personal story. Don't doubt your work so much, have a little confidence! Besides if you're looking to improve just keep writing, you'll learn from experience.
As far as loving your best friend, I understand having other feelings rather than friendship (perhaps not quite as intense as love). It's best to tell them, I know it may be scary but you have to put it out there how you feel or they'll never know. It's horrible to be stuck wondering what 'could've been'. Besides, if she doesn't like you and she's mature about it you two can continue being friends. It's a little awkward at first but it gets better. Hang in there buddy!
The story has a common concept, one that nearly matches that of the very popular show most teens watch called Thirteen Reasons Why, which I'm guessing you based it on. There wasn't much of a build up and at times it was sloppy and difficult to read. However I think there is a really great story lying in here. Through practice and hard work this could become a very good piece of writing. Keep up the hard work!
Aw, what a lovely little tale. I really enjoyed this story. There were a couple of errors here and there, but nobody is perfect. Beautifully written, and a job well done.
Underneath all of the grammar mistakes and spelling errors there is a good story. Throughout the piece you make many errors such as punctuation, spelling, grammar, repeating, and hard to read descriptions. I don't say this to discourage you, this is a very good idea and I think with enough hard work and time you could reshape this into something amazing, but next time a little more care for errors. Overall it is a very creative idea. Keep writing!