Optimism101

Woah. That was brutal. My feelings just kinda crumbled in the corner. The turns, the changes, the effects. I don't know how to feel about this, my emotions have blended together into everything. I find myself feeling overjoyed, depressed, surprised, humored, and everything all at once. Maybe that makes me insane. Otherwise, It was a little tough to get through, so I recommend spreading out your paragraphs, and starting a new line for speech. Some grammer mistakes, but otherwise, the story is amazing. You are so close. "You're ripped at every edge but you're a masterpiece" You are so close.

It's a nice, inspiring poem. Uprising. It's one that would shine out of a rainy day.

As one wise person told me once, on my first post, "Sometimes less is more" Something small can still have a big impact. You also define the story as "Terrible" and sure, there are grammar and spelling mistakes, but that's something editing can fix. Otherwise, for the content, it is something we all have to deal with. It's that problem in all of us we can't solve. I try to push it away with "Every down has its up, and every bad day has its good." But it only works now and then. It's a nice story. Could use some polishing, but your content, your work, its nice.

"I have all the time in the world" Waiting. A simple, short poem about waiting. And a devastatingly long wait that is. Nice poem

It doesn't particularly strike out as hard as I think you were going for. However, I know at least two people it's going to hit hard to. And even if it didn't strike me, I could still feel it's emotion.

It's... blood boiling. I swear to god if I get my hands on that son of a bi-... Nope, gotta keep it PG. Still. It's a nice story. I think it could be polished a bit, but it's very close to perfect. Keep writing! We will keep reading!

A nice creeps story. Gives chills. I feel it could use another draft though! Just some simple stuff, the basic more description stuff, less I's, etc. But other than that, you have a nice premise, and a nice creeps story. You're so close! Keep writing! We will keep reading!

So0o0o0oOo0oo, I liked it. It's a good work, it could just use some fine tuning. I'm not trying to be rude, I just wanna help. I think that you did a cool thing with the last 2-3 lines. The last two with their rhyme hit pretty hard and worked really well, but it didn't mesh very well with the top portion. I feel like if you make that top part rhyming, or even just close-ish then it could do a lot better. Maybe try doing some flow exercises too. Either way, it's a good piece, and you're well on your way. Safe travels! Stay optimistic!