Lyn

Wow, what a great piece of writing! You did an incredible job explaining how he had left, excited to see her. But then when he left, it felt more of in a zombie state. The way you explained how she didn't offer her lips first really shows their relationship. I'd love to see more with these characters!

wow, how eventful that was. im not a Minecraft player, but I understand how annoying it can be when you work really hard on a game and then the save file doesn't work. its really annoying. welp-
nice writing style, tho.

This is great! You did rly good! I think you could be a bit more descriptive, though. When you wrote "they stopped hugging," I felt you could put a bit more into that. Maybe something along the lines of, "they immediately pulled away, giving nervous chuckles." Other than that, you did really, really well! Keep writing, you're going somewhere!

This is beautiful! Good for you for having the courage to walk away like that. Remember, every bad experience teaches us something. Thank you for sharing this.

So good! You're writing is amazing and I can't wait for more of this character! I would like a bit more clarity on how exactly she met death, please. I already have a theory, but it's not a nice one, so I would like to be proven wrong. Keep writing you are so very talented!

This is incredible! You are so very talented! You deserve so much more than you are receiving. Keep writing and unleashing your creativity, it's beautiful!

Wow, how intense-
I didn't think it would escalate that quickly!
Maybe separate the paragraphs a bit more. It's harder to read the first few paragraphs because of how mixed up they are. Other than that, you did really well!

Lost_Star's right! There are plenty of other guys out there who would die to love you the way that boy never could. Keep searching, you'll find them eventually! Great writing, by the way, I could really feel your emotion.