United States • 22 y/oReviews Received
3.5 stars. ;) I like the writing style, and I thought the concept was interesting. This would be a story that I'd enjoy getting to know a few more details of, like why he was stowing away and what happens after he transforms into a merperson.
Very captivating idea. I liked realizing what was happening, and since this is a story about merpeople, it's inherently interesting.
You describe the setting very well and the banter reads plausible. If you develop it further, show how distraught your protagonists family are at her disappearence. That adds emotional richness and credibilitu.
yes finally someone who understands! i feel this way all the time and i can absolutely relate to all of this! i loved your writing you are amazing!
You should go talk to them! It'll be difficult, but I'm sure they'd love to meet you.
I get this a lot, cause I have scars and cuts too. I'm glad you were able to stop, and I hope I can find the strength to stop to.
Very nice. Very punchy writing, communicates the fear very well. The one thing I noticed was the part near the beginning when it talks about diving under the covers as quickly as possible, I would just say they dived, the context of the dive communicates the panic perfectly already. Dives are never slow, after all. :)
Anyway, I really like it. Especially the first half, it felt very fresh and clear.
I am positive that everyone has had the, "I don't know" moments in their lives. I mean, to add onto it, I'll say, "why do we walk on two feet and not crawl on four?" Who really knows. We just do. It may seem "normal", but is it?
This is fascinating and I totally relate to it.