Andy (Formerly Apemann)

Sincere words from the heart, I'm sure. A little too 'saccharine-sweet' for my taste, though...

This was good... until the punctuation error on the third-last line marred it... ('im' for I'm)

A simple message well presented. Good for you :-)

MUCH better! However, there are still one or two silly punctuation errors. PLEASE use your computer's spell checker! A great improvement. Well done :-)

I'm not really sure what to make of your poem. Not that it's bad, because it isn't. It's just..., well... ODD :-) It doesn't seem to fit any conventional poetry style, which is no bad thing either. Ah well, there's nothing wrong in being different - and this poem is certainly that!

Interesting piece. You would have been better served using the more usual '...' rather than the double-hyphen to indicate pauses. It would also be more aesthetically pleasing. On the whole, though, not bad at all. :-)

A nice poem - but take more care with your punctuation. I look forward to reading more of your work in future :-)

I fear you may alienate more than you'll draw in with this piece. Religion is always a contentious subject and seemingly ramming your beliefs down the throats of your readers is not a good means by which to endear yourself. There are other, more subtle but equally effective ways of putting your message across without being so bullish about it.