Durandal

I need a sequel! You don't have to, of course, but I am interested to see what you can come up with.

Nice. It's sad that things like that actually happen.

Somebody has anger issues. Was she too angry to think he might find a way to do both? One of my theories was that he would take her family to someone who could take care of them. I can definitely relate to Analise; I don't seem like someone who can be angered easily, but I can be. This story is doing great, keep up all the good work.

You don't need to apologize for it being short, I know how you feel.

Wow, didn't see that coming. Good job!

Love it! Great cliff hanger. At the beginning of this chapter, did you mean Gimli instead of Gimil? It's just something I noticed, and I don't remember a Gimil.

My only advice for you is to make a new paragraph when someone is speaking. it makes it clearer and easier to read. For example: "Hi," said bob. "Hello, bob," Joe said.
Instead, it would be:
"Hi," said bob.
"Hello, bob," Joe said.

I hope this is useful, it's always easier for me to read a story when someone does this.

Legolas will always be the best.