Durandal

I really liked it, I can't wait for more(though you already told me about a lot of it)

I liked that, it definitely shows what it was like.

This is a good story, it says a lot about life.

Your scaring me man!

That's dark, but it's a true representation of some people's lives. Good job!

That was intense.

Legolas will always be the best.

My only advice for you is to make a new paragraph when someone is speaking. it makes it clearer and easier to read. For example: "Hi," said bob. "Hello, bob," Joe said.
Instead, it would be:
"Hi," said bob.
"Hello, bob," Joe said.

I hope this is useful, it's always easier for me to read a story when someone does this.