United States • 30 y/o • FemaleReviews Received
I don't know why but I really find this story attracting and interesting; it's actually the first story I read here.
At first I thought this one in going to be a heartbreaking story, but it turns out to be 'I-can-relate' story--those occurrences which happen all the time when writing something, ugh, those are just... fantastically true. This is a nice piece of work!
The story itself was good, and cute. I noticed a few errors in the story though, which can be easily fixed. Very cute little story!
I loved the idea behind this story, but it is a tad confusing in places. It would have helped immensely if you had separated the dialogue in to separate lines to make identifying who was speaking easier.
Calling your lead character 'big brother', whilst kind-of cute, doesn't really work for me. I would have preferred he had a name.
Overall, a good story. :-)
I really loved the idea for this story. I like how instead of the "creatures under our beds" being the monsters a human is. One little flaw I noticed was it was somewhat hard to identify which creature was which (I may just have a hard time keeping up though), but overall I really liked it. I hope to see more!
Good atmosphere, enough suspense and tension to keep the reader hooked into the story. All-in-all a creditable beginning to your story :-)
Thank you for the great story.
