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IanG

IanG is from GB United Kingdom • 60 y/o

Reviews Given

WHEN NATURE CALLS, LITERALLY by JamesSprag

Honest and with a good punchline at the end. I like stories about wildlife. Thanks for sharing this.

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Hey, Future Me? by Thomas Ray

The wave metaphore is a good one.
Most people are going through big changes at eighteen, whether its university or your first job. Its understandable to feel worried about that. Just because things are rough now it doesn't mean they always will be. If one plan or ambition doesn't work out then another one might. The pandemic is making things hard now, but sooner or later society will come to terms with it. it may not be easy but if people couldn't get past crisis our species would've gone extinct long before now.

There was a recession when I was a teenager. Sometimes it seemed it would never end but it did. I was unemployed for a time but I found a good job, even though it took me years.

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Cat - Part 9 by LeCat127

Elaine's feelings are plausible and you convey them very well. I might have described the dining hall in more detail but the character's dilemmas are more important.

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Cat - Part 3 by LeCat127

You have a vivid imagination to think of this concept.

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Amy's Discovery by Jan Brooks

Your descriptions are good but you could add a little more tension. If the kitten tries to run and Amy looses sight of it she could go home, get a piece of fish or chicken and lay it down where the animal was. Then after an anxious wait it could return, drawn by the scent of food and this time let Amy take it. A little more difficulty would make a more interesting story.
Its a good choice of subject.
I've got a cat story on page 11 of this site, 'Misty's Cry,' and there are more besides.


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Cat - Part 1 by LeCat127

A good opening and a nice twist.

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Serendipity by Friend

You make a good point about people's prejudices against outsiders and anyone who looks different. Let me offer a little constructive criticism.

Hiding from the sun under a large oak reads better than hiding under a large oak from the sun.

If Moss is a plant based life form he should ooze sap not blood as he dies. Perhaps blood is more dramatic but sap is more consistent. Plants drained of sap die just as people drained of blood do.

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Ka (Part Two) by Thomas Ray

As with the first part, you evoke your characters' emotions well.

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