IanG

You describe Zaire's feelings and the setting very well. This raises a lot of questions about the characters and their culture, but if you're planning on developing it furthet that's good. Keep writing.

I lke the metaphore of the fist and the whole poem is evocative. Good work.

You sum up the Earl beautifully with just a few words. Well done.

Thanks for sharing this Willie. I know it makes no difference now but I hope your ancestor was reunited with his family

The part about the cheif and his morning coffee was funny.

A lighthearted but interesting idea. This should go down well with youngsters at Christmas.

You describe the setting very well and the banter reads plausible. If you develop it further, show how distraught your protagonists family are at her disappearence. That adds emotional richness and credibilitu.

The introduction is believable and relatable. I might've put 'what kind of tat they've got me this year, not 'what kind of chaos.' It feels more appropriate for inanimate objects. Othetwise its well written.

As to the wierd developments, much depends on what's coming next before we can judge those. It should encourage fans of fantasy to read on.