Please register or login to continue

Register Login

's Avatar

IanG

IanG is from GB United Kingdom • 61 y/o

Reviews Given

Let Them Talk by Child_of_God

I'm not an expert on the technical aspects of poetry, but I agree with your sentiments here.

0 Edit Delete
I Wondered by Thomas Ray

You describe the setting well, despite the brevity of it. It left me wanting to know mote then agaim perhaps its good to make us use our imaginstions.

0 Edit Delete
Ka (Part Two) by Thomas Ray

As with the first part, you evoke your characters' emotions well.

0 Edit Delete
The Beach House by mackenzie

You wrote 'load' when you meant 'loud' but that aside its a convincing, well written piece. The declining town and the mismatch between memories and the present are very believable.

1 Edit Delete
Serendipity by Friend

You make a good point about people's prejudices against outsiders and anyone who looks different. Let me offer a little constructive criticism.

Hiding from the sun under a large oak reads better than hiding under a large oak from the sun.

If Moss is a plant based life form he should ooze sap not blood as he dies. Perhaps blood is more dramatic but sap is more consistent. Plants drained of sap die just as people drained of blood do.

0 Edit Delete
The Sisters by Kiraa

Warm and plausible, well done.

0 Edit Delete
Wanderer by Adalyne5

Try 'Father retires to the living room# rather than 'father resigns to the living room'. Resigning refers to quitting a job due to pressure or a crisis, retire can mean leaving a scene or a room voluntarily.
That said, I like your descriptions of nature and the twist at the end is a good one. Keep it up.

0 Edit Delete
A Gleam in the Dark by melissahassan

Perhaps you could say 'at first he didn't realise the door was ajar,' as he clearly does realise eventually. Nonetheless its good for a first attempt. Your protagonist and his feelings are totally convincing.

0 Edit Delete