IanG

You evoke a child's point of view in a more innocent era very well.

Interesting point. Some names seem to fit children or adolescents better than adults, for instance Tommy can become Tom. Some people acquire several names or nicknames and each serves a different purpose. Some authors use a pen name and different writers choose for different reasons. Karen (Out of Africa) Blixen was nicknamed Tanne by her family but changed it to Tania as it sounded more sophisticated. I'm content with my name but its short and difficult to turn into something else.

If this is based on fact then he should've taken you as you are or not at all. I hope you meet someone who will. There's plenty of time for that to happen.

Passed me reads better than crossed me. Otherwise its a well written story with a touch of mystery. Why did she stay? You set the scene quickly and effectively. Well done there.

You describe Zaire's feelings and the setting very well. This raises a lot of questions about the characters and their culture, but if you're planning on developing it furthet that's good. Keep writing.

These are good descriptions and an interesting premise. I hope you keep writing.

You describe two convincing characters with just a few words. It takes a lot of skill to do that.

I'm glad you can see the positive side of your mother and yout relationship. I hope you continue to heal. Some things will never be the same again, but we learn to deal with it. I wish you didn't have to learn so young but it can be done.