United Kingdom • 60 y/oReviews Given
A lot of people will relate to someone putting a brave face on things when they feel dreadful inside. People have covered the subject before but that's because people keep feeling like that. Glad to see a ray of hope.
You're right about the corrosive effects of guilt. There's a little more hope here than in some of your pieces, and that's good.
If I'd been a conscript, I'm pretty sure I'd have been the guy who got killed by his own grenade.
There are a few spelling mistakes here, for instance 'fir' should be 'fur'. Fir is a coniferous tree. Having said that, it was a nice twist at the end. There's certainly some truth in the idea that he stood a better chance befriending the cat than chasing it.
You wrote 'load' when you meant 'loud' but that aside its a convincing, well written piece. The declining town and the mismatch between memories and the present are very believable.
This is a well written story with a convincing plot and likeable central character. I like the detail of them watching birds together. I'm used to dialogue in inverted commas, nonetheless I enjoyed it. Well done.
No need to apologise for this piece, its a convincing evocation of someone starting a new school and there are only a limited number of basic plots. The ending should make people want to know more.
Perhaps you could've written English translations of the part that's in Indonesian, but don't let that small point put you off.
This is a thoughtful piece that will resonate with many people. Crisis often cause us to question what we once took for granted: the Black Death shook the feudal system; both world wars lead to women and subjects of empires demanding equality with male Caucasians. This pandemic may yet have a similar effect.