Singapore • 23 y/o • MaleReviews Received
This was a heartfelt story, although the mix of past and present tense does bring it down a star - if you can resolve that, then this would be 4 stars!
Thank you for your submission, Jailbreaker01
I love this because of how cute it is. Though, I must admit you need to work out some little things in your story. In my opinion, it was a little too rush for me. The character development was done rather sloppy but it is alright. You are a fantastic writer that will get a hang of it. I really do hope to see you write again.
-Fate🌸
I really really loved it. Cant wait to read more :) keep writing
For more mature readers and writers, this may have been an obvious conclusion but coming from a 15 year old writer, I must say this reflects a thinking mind and a feeling heart; quite a comforting and pleasant realisation. The setting of a 'memory chest' is such a wonderful idea that any writer would have loved to base the story on.
Please keep on writing as you have what it takes.
Stay blessed.
This was sweet.... A little confusing at times, and a bit rushed towards the end, but overall a good story.
this is such a sad love story. i love the details but does the girl live by herself and also where are her parents? just wondering where are the guys parents in all of this. just next time include a backstory. but i love this piece of writing! i love the ending and it really completes the story and i love how the man is telling this story to the daughter! keep writing you are amazing at it!!!
This is really good and I love the way it ends it just that little bit better. Amazing
This story was absolutely amazing. The plot and overall emotions in the story made it spectacular. To be honest, this story angered me quite a bit. Mostly the fact that this seems highly related to real life. Where guys "love" his significant other specifically for her body. It makes me mad, but those emotions of mine is what made this a great story. The realism within it. Keep up the good work.