United Kingdom • 27 y/o • FemaleReviews Received
i LOVE YOUR WRITING SOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!
I really like this!! Its awesome
Can you read my first story and tell me what you think about it??
ps- I LOVE your work! I love all of your stories! (=^.^=)
Okay, I WANT to like your work. My problem is that I get a feeling of 'incompleteness' from some of your stuff, which frustrates me. This offering is a case in point. It doesn't really say anything (to me, anyway) nor does it go anywhere meaningful.
I would like to see more depth to your writing; more purpose, if you will. At the moment I feel that there is a poet trying to burst out, but has not quite found the right path just yet. Keep plugging-away at it, though :-))
The box part was a little confusing. Some more explanation would be nice, but overall a well written story :)
What a beautiful story <3
Personally I feel like this is more of a horror since it involves murder, but it just depends on how you look at it.
Again, your choice to ignore another of the submission guidelines (that of using slang and colloquialisms) in your work rankles. You are better than some of the work you submit. Using cheap 'kop-outs' (such as 'kiester') demeans you and your work.
You say feel you are "getting the hang of poetry"? One golden rule to observe when writing rhymes, especially, is if you've got to FORCE the rhyme then it's not worth the bother. The rhymes should feel natural and smooth.
This is not your finest hour as you've produced much better work than this poem. However, as a learning experience, it's all valuable knowledge.
THIS is my kind of writing!
I love the way you get straight into the heart of the story, your characters coming to life through their words and actions. It's not over-embellished or described or padded-out with superfluous prose.
In my opinion, your story ends just where it needs to end: without a resolution or any answers. You leave those questions for your reader to figure out. THAT is good story-telling.
Without doubt, your best piece so far. Congratulations.