Kat

Holy cow!! That's great!! Are you going to write more? When you're talking about wondering if the dude is hung to split her in half you accidentally say my instead of me, but besides that I found no more errors.

Sounds great, trust me. The parts could be a little longer but besides that I believe that you're all good👍🏻

Love it! Understand it completely! (Except the rum part, i don't want to ever drink alchol). Great job!

Great job. Really rendered me speechless (which is hard to do)

Sounds great, but may I ask, why did you say it was so important to you? In might be butting in a bit but I'm naturally curious.

This really opens up my mind and makes me think. The world really is a place of horrors and mischief, but you cannot forget the love and beauty. Everything in life can and will be made in a way that will pleasure the human kind, but it is a judge of character to try and avoid the things we know have no profit.
The world has only gotten worse, but as we look around things have also gotten better. A man becomes too drunk to see straight, but his car won't start when he is in that state. A child is abused at home, but there are counselers and helpers standing outside their door, waiting for the call for help.
So even though the world might seem so bad, with every heartbreak there comes a promise. Stay strong!
-KP

I usually don't read things along these lines but the story was well written and left suspense at every corner. The ending was quite unsatisfying; but I believe you did that for a reason. Good job.

I found this very amusing and true. There are some things people say that can get on your nerves to the point of snapping them. Take "getting on my nerves" for instance. I use it, but not as constantly as some of my friends might. Wanting to snap someone's neck for the incorrect grammar and usage of wording is something that most writers share. 😜 -KP