United Kingdom • 26 y/o • FemaleReviews Given
I think that though you do need to work on the grammar and punctuation and sentencing, there is a great idea implanted in your writing. I suggest making this the prompt for a new story.
You could start out with the boy not thinking that the story was true, and entering the abandoned bathroom. This way the reader is still creeped out and worried for the main character.
You could also use an age for the boy (both of them), and tell why the boy in the mirror is first off in the mirror and second whh he skipped his classes.
Great work, can't wait to hear more!
A little weird.... um.... ðŸ¤
Holy crud. That was hallarious and just downright awkward at the same time. Love it.
Oh my gosh write more!!!! How could you end it like that??! You're killing me!! 😜
I loved it! A few grammatical errors, but it sounds amazing!! Please write more!!
Wow that's embarrassing! I've forgotten to wear Underwear once but that's horrible. New source of nightmares XD!
Wow!!! That is a great plot line!! One problem though. There are a bunch of grammatical gaps or errors and some punctual mistakes.
I also wanted to ask, where are the moments when the girl's friend couldn't speak, had to step back, and come at it a moment later?
Could she be fingering the gun while she talked? That way the audience (readers) would know that something was in her pocket but didn't know what exactly it was. Something like explaining the hard, cold metal would've sufficed.
Great job on the plot line and I am excited to read more of your work!
OH MY GOSH I FEEL THAT WAY!! That's hallarious! I love the way that you made the reader feel bad for the character, and then all the sudden feels stupid for believing it. I love the way that you put that.
There was one grammatical error I found, in the first few paragraphs. You used the wrong 'there.' It was 'their' but supposed to be 'there.'
Great job! Can't wait to read more!!
-KP
Holy cow that was a lot of crazy! Mind blown! XD