Khaled Saeed

It's not easy to blend practical realities with emotional turmoil. As a reader one can differ with the mindset but there is no escaping the powerful and personalised narrative.

This is a piece of art that vividly, so intricately, paints the details of the city. But then the second half of your story takes the reader into human experiences with disarming simplicity. I started as a reader but soon turned into a witness. Simply brilliant!

What a wonderful way to capture the emotions and uncertainties of adolescence!
Please keep on writing, as you not only have the ability but also a unique way of expressing your thought.

The beauty about your writing style is that you don't hesitate to put your thoughts across.
Your choice of words is remarkably mature, yet somehow compliments the youthful, but agonising, emotions so effortlessly.

For more mature readers and writers, this may have been an obvious conclusion but coming from a 15 year old writer, I must say this reflects a thinking mind and a feeling heart; quite a comforting and pleasant realisation. The setting of a 'memory chest' is such a wonderful idea that any writer would have loved to base the story on.
Please keep on writing as you have what it takes.
Stay blessed.

Hmm, this gets interesting as it goes.
For a twelve-year old writer, this is quite a mature storytelling.
Keep it up, Auron

Very powerful. Great insightful writing.
The writing style looks quite familiar too.

The spoiler for me was the lack of formatting. With proper line-breaks and logical flow through individual paragraphs, this story could be far more appealing.

Very creative and beautifully innovative.
The writer certainly has that feeling heart, a thinking mind, and the ability to put the thoughts across.

There are passages where the sentences do appear clustered and can distract the reader, but I suspect that is more of formatting error than any lapse on part of the writer.