Khaled Saeed

Beautifully crafted

It's not easy to blend practical realities with emotional turmoil. As a reader one can differ with the mindset but there is no escaping the powerful and personalised narrative.

Very interesting and certainly offbeat. Please do continue writing.

I read this story soon after it got posted and liked it then. With my subsequent reads it's increasingly obvious that the author knows how best to convey the touching narrative; probably it's the poet in him.

For a very well written story, I wonder why the 'I' is repeatedly 'i'..
As a reader, my first reaction was that the spell check is missing and was distracted. But then, does the author use the 'i' instead of 'I' to make some point? I couldn't tell, but would suggest the 'I' in capital letter be used.
Sometimes the finer points can be missed.

Very creative and beautifully innovative.
The writer certainly has that feeling heart, a thinking mind, and the ability to put the thoughts across.

There are passages where the sentences do appear clustered and can distract the reader, but I suspect that is more of formatting error than any lapse on part of the writer.

Very powerful. Great insightful writing.
The writing style looks quite familiar too.

The spoiler for me was the lack of formatting. With proper line-breaks and logical flow through individual paragraphs, this story could be far more appealing.

Hmm, this gets interesting as it goes.
For a twelve-year old writer, this is quite a mature storytelling.
Keep it up, Auron