United States • 24 y/o • FemaleReviews Received
America is not a patriarchy. Assault and rape are awful, but we do not live in a patriarchy.
The glass metephore is a good one.
I like the message you have in this, "The art of self deflecting is dangerous and will swallow you whole if you don't grab a hold of it." That is a true line we should all know of.
Darkness is one of the strongest forces in the universe to make us lost, but light can peer through showing us some direction where we are going.
Again, with some music based stuff for how you bring up God in this writing, it reminds me of the song "Love Me" by a Christian Metal band, Holy Soldier, that hits the meaning home for me when these lyrics are brought in,
"I've died inside
Open my eyes
God, are You still there?
It's up to You
To see me through"
I'll also check out Passion.
Sorry that this comment is a little long.
My mother passed away when I was in my 50s and that was hard enough. It must be worse loosing her when very young yourself. I've learned to get by without her, it took time and help from friends but it can be done. Its hard but possible. I hope you come to terms with your loss.
Usually I have a speech written out when I comment on your works. This time I don't.
Not that I don't have words for you, but I believe that music can be the messenger - it's certainly stronger and more unique when put up against my words.
Two songs came to mind when I read your work.
I hope you take a listen to and find what you are looking for and encapture it in yourself.
Queensryche - Someone Else?
Glenmore - Take On A Shining Star
The emotion was iterated clear and strong but the formatting of it as a whole made it a little painful to read. Overall a nice poem though.
