I didn't find this cringey or cheesy at all- this is actually well done, especially for your age. I enjoy how you separated the sections, steered away from just repeating the title too many times, but I especially enjoy the first two lines. Very captivating intro and heartfelt without exposing a vein. Distant but still genuine. Thanks for sharing this!
I definitely agree, there's actually a criminal justice term called the Labeling Theory that explores exactly that. It's usually more used with addicts, criminals, homeless, and those labels, but it applies for all. Thanks for letting us into your brain.
I love this concept that you've followed here, there's so much psychology about right and left brains. The clashing of the two is so interesting as well. Super great idea for a poem, short and sweet and still exploratory. Cool poem!
very intriguing, I like the final line of "i'm storming this wildfire"
very interesting and realistic story
I'm giving this five stars because of the heart you put in it. Just the tip of the iceberg of so much policing and oppression against women in this culture. You are worth more than all of it. Thanks for sharing these truths.
I like the repetition you did with the beginning and the end. There were some grammatical errors, such as "..we were told we were pretty but men we didn't know" should by "by men" instead. My favorite lines are "we have been silenced to our opinions" and "we have been told that what we say is wrong." Such a strong and bold piece.
This sounds a lot like the terrifying book Revelation. I like how you started the poem how you did, with sin breeding in the mind and taking over all. So true. The whole word play on reign and rain is cool here too. Definitely will be a scary time. But hey, we know the ending that Jesus wins. I also like these lines: "Danger it lives, freedom it dies/ rewriting rules of humanity." The entire push-and-pull of evil and good here is a cool topic. Our world is such a wild place.
my mom left when I was ten years old, too. we didn't talk for seven years and when we finally did there were a lot of mixed and confusing emotions. I vividly remember how hard those times were. my heart goes out to you. I'm nineteen now, and I'm here to tell you it gets better. that your story becomes your motivation to get up every day and make someone else's story a little brighter. that your worth is not defined by the actions or belief of others, but by the God who created and loves every piece of you and that He is with you and me in every heartache, whether we feel it or not. thanks for sharing the main events of your life with us.