United States • 23 y/o • FemaleReviews Given
I'd say to continue, for some reason it's catching my attention. The grammar usage was off at times and the techniques can be dull but it's an intriguing story for me, I'd want to know what happens.
Smoothly bliss and heatbreaking.
I really appreciate your use of words and the way you draw comparisons. This story is strong and elaborate in such a short amount of words, it really drew my attention to it. I can tell you have a great imagination as it comes out in your writing. I found this story to be jagged and demanding and colorful. Thanks for sharing
You're good at describing surroundings and actions and getting across emotions. I enjoyed this short story, it covered kind of a lot of area in a small amount of words. I like how unspecific you were because it led to draw conclusions that could fluctuate between the readers and tie more into the readers' emotions. Great topic to write on and good job of showing contrast of love and despair. Short and strong yet somehow sweet
I agree that it's not necessarily a story, but rather something you felt you had to say, and to me, that's what writing is all about. You did a decent job at describing the feeling of anxiety. There were some conventional errors and I still feel it could have been better (as in using stronger words than "and it sucks") , but overall, it was decent. I appreciated how you mentioned that anxiety never leaves you. Thanks for sharing what you felt you had to say.
A++++
Absolutely brilliant, breathtakingly powerful, the last line just catches you and is a great way to end a great story.
I've always loved this story, it was one of the first I saw on this site and it's always been my favorite. Thank you for sharing your talent and your thoughts. Don't stop writing,.
It was put together well and the structure was very fitting. It's a good poem, it just seems a bit too predictable for me. However, it's good. I found it enjoyable but not necessarily something I personally would remember when put in a list of stories. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.