To open up about your past takes great courage and strength, especially when it's one like this. I appreciate you sharing part of your story with us. I agree with the other comment, you should try channeling your emotions into your writing more and maybe it'll help you to get rid of your habits. I know what's it's like to be there, and I know it hurts but, believe me, it's only a chapter in your journey to becoming the great person you're meant to be. Stay strong, Madison.
This is a good story. Your structure was intriguing and I really appreciated your longing for the stars, as I have a similar one for nature. Has a haunting tone that I also liked. Good job
Very real. As someone whose familiar with this, I appreciate how you expressed that the person was tricked rather than too caught up in something else, as many stories on this topic often do. Your structure, elongated with the sweet parts and short with the dark parts, expresses many different things in itself. Nice job
I like it a lot. Great metaphor and great ending. Use of structure was great- short when it needed to be and added to the tone. Good job
I would suggest using stronger word choice, but since the people you're writing about are shallow, it makes a good parallel to keep it more simple. Good story about a common issue that isn't spoken of enough.
A good job at expressing hopelessness
Simple and strong.
The only suggestion would be to add stronger words to really grip the emotions, but the structure set the tone and still made it great. I appreciated the subtle contrast.
You have a lot of potential and I like stories that are based off of a true event, even if some of the facts could be argued. The ideas within the story were good. There were some grammatical errors. I feel like you could add more emotion through the use of your structure and diction that would leave a more intense lasting impression. Your beginning and ending were good- maybe try using different writing techniques and details throughout the whole story that would really make it great. Overall, good story.