United States • 24 y/o • FemaleReviews Given
very intriguing, I like the final line of "i'm storming this wildfire"
I would suggest using stronger word choice, but since the people you're writing about are shallow, it makes a good parallel to keep it more simple. Good story about a common issue that isn't spoken of enough.
Hey sara,
my mom left when I was ten years old, too. we didn't talk for seven years and when we finally did there were a lot of mixed and confusing emotions. I vividly remember how hard those times were. my heart goes out to you. I'm nineteen now, and I'm here to tell you it gets better. that your story becomes your motivation to get up every day and make someone else's story a little brighter. that your worth is not defined by the actions or belief of others, but by the God who created and loves every piece of you and that He is with you and me in every heartache, whether we feel it or not. thanks for sharing the main events of your life with us.
It's really hard to feel like you're not seen. I'm sorry you have to experience those deeply painful emotions.
Your worth isn't defined by the opinions of others, and I know how hard that is to grasp when it's your own mother, but try to take heart. There's always light.
Pretty good writing for the topic and audience. I would suggest adding more details and digging deeper into pulling those out of yourself and onto paper, but deeply personal ones like this are always more about what you think of them- just a little suggestion.
very interesting and realistic story
Very real. As someone whose familiar with this, I appreciate how you expressed that the person was tricked rather than too caught up in something else, as many stories on this topic often do. Your structure, elongated with the sweet parts and short with the dark parts, expresses many different things in itself. Nice job