scorp

oooOOoooooOoooh! Sci-fi! Love it!

Love this! You should see that thing I wrote about the soldier who went to Korea, then returned to the US and the government took everything away from him. Now he's homeless.True story. :/
Anyway, great poem!

The Hunger Games!
And, wow, so poetic! I absolutely love the details. Keep up the awesome work!

So good and deep! I remember when you presented this in class.

Yikes.
Creeped me out. Good job!
As mentioned before, this story needs some revision. Some periods are missing, and some sentences have grammar mistakes such as "'We closed now,'". I didn't know if that intentional if the creepy dude spoke weirdly, or a sloppy mistake.
Anyway, besides that, you did an amazing job! Can' wait for more.

Intriguing. A sequel would be real cool.

awww. So sweet.

As for improvement, I don't think there's anything to address. Good flow of words, details, emotion, etc...

Keep up the great work!

Nothing to say besides: MORE PLEASE.