NorthernPhoenix

I absolutely love this story! It's so soulfully written and beautiful to imagine. I love the way that you use repetition throughout the story. It's wonderfully done.

Cheesy? Maybe just a bit, but mostly because that's the way of things, I think. I absolutely love this. You've managed to capture perfectly the way that I've felt many times. This story is beautifully written and conveys so much emotion without being overbearing and wordy. Thanks for sharing it!

This is absolutely gorgeous! This is your first poem? I'm impressed.
I usually don't care for free form poetry, but this was amazing. I might have to spend some time analyzing it later to figure out why. I loved your combinations of long and short lines, and I felt like it flowed together really smoothly. You managed to convey the emotions of loss and sorrow so beautifully, and the nostalgia mixed in was truly lovely. Excellent work!

I'm not really sure what to say about this. Writing-wise, I like how it's all dialogue. I love how the tone of each voice shifts at the end.
It also made me feel sad. I couldn't quite relate to all the details, but I could definitely relate to the overall idea and feel.
It's wonderful writing, and you've given me something to think about.

I think this is written quite well! I appreciate that, at least to me, it seems like more of an observation of pain than a description of it (if that makes any sense). It's interesting. While it's not really the tone that I like most of the time, it was enjoyable to read nonetheless. Keep up the good work!

Very simple and to the point. I think you did a good job. There's a point where you wrote "March" when I think you meant "much", but otherwise, I think it's pretty good.

I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this. I loved the characters and the way you wrote the whole scene. It was quite delightful!

I don't really know what to say, except that I love this.