United States • 23 y/o • FemaleReviews Received
SOOOOO GOOD! Write more!!
Yes, a classic case of being careful what you wish for...
A well told tale with a couple of bumpy grammatical errors along the way '(ingenuous' is used in the wrong context: ingenious might have been more accurate; 'inhabitance' in this context is wrong: habitation would have been more appropriate)
Another enjoyable offering overall. Well done :-)
Not a bad effort, though the rhyming seems a bit contrived.
I think you mean "hearse," not "hurst."
(You still can edit the poem after it's uploaded.)
This is such a great point! I love it great story!!!
i was crying can u plzzzzzzzzzz continue
This feels incomplete. There is something here, for sure, but in its present form whatever 'it' is isn't there yet. You have aimed for an air of mystery but have ended-up with something that is neither mysterious or satisfying. If anything, it's frustrating :-)
Not your best effort; however the language, imagery and wording is very good. I wonder if this might perhaps have worked better as a poem..?
Contrary to what Andy is saying, this spoke to me, was very satisfying. Why? Because I can relate very well. Though I do agree this may have been better as a poem, the content within the story is very relatable and touching. Especially the part where she says, I feel everything...
Hi! I just read your story and I like it. I'd like to use it with some of my english students for discussion. But there's one part I don't really understand....both kingdoms have a Mrs Merryweather. Is it the same person or how come they have the same name? I think I have to understand the story more before I can discuss it with my students! I'd appreciate your help!