United States • 22 y/o • MaleReviews Given
Hm. This is why I don't want to have a girlfriend. I like having friends.
Kind of like how if you look at someone and assume they're struggling you'll be right, you can look at a problem or realistic story and assume it has been or will be a reality at one point.
If the darkess and depression in this story exist just because, it may do more harm than good to the readers. I mean this in the best way. With extreme sadness, you can bring characters through storms (and therefore readers) but unless there's a note of hope, or even a semi-happy ending, it won't quite be an honest story at all. Emotionally wrecking myself at the hands of a story should leave healing potential, or I'll be left wondering if it was worth it.
I think this has enormous potential and wish you luck on whatever you decide to write. (Whether this story or a different one.)
There's a power in this poem that many people rarely feel inside themselves. The cages we live inside sometimes turn out to be harder to escape than we thought, and we take it to mean that we ourselves are weak, when in reality, it's admirable that we can even stand under the weight of our personal problems.
I think the mindset presented in this poem could be a good alternative.
This sounds like a toxic telationship. Those are really bad.
Good poem!
That hit HARD. I'm almost not okay withthe levels of pure emotion pouring off of this. The only thing I'd change is how fast the death happened. Maybe if he tried to get her to open the door, then shrugged it off, but then later, like at dinner, he breaks the door.
But wow, I physically hurt at that ending, as well as all throughout. Bullying is not okay in any circumstance, not okay for or from any person, and harmful 100% of the time, if only on a subconscious level.
Keep writing! I love this.
I don't understand completely, but I really like this.
Well. That was interesting.
Well written, my fellow writer. While I don't agree with every point you made, I can accept this for what it is, and that's a wonderfully written story. Musing? Story? I'm still not sure, but yeah. Nice job.