United States • 23 y/o • MaleReviews Given
Okay, first I wanna say, thank you for walking inside my mind for a full 204 words of this writing.
Next, I believe you mean "Figment" of my imagination, not "fragment".
Third, if a bear walks into the woods and eats berries, do the two words "bear" and "berries" become one word called "bearries"?
Lastly, let's keep our unique minds just between us if that's cool with you.
This is neat. I like that it is short, simple and to the point. It has a nice flow even when it is short. Nice.
I like the message you have in this, "The art of self deflecting is dangerous and will swallow you whole if you don't grab a hold of it." That is a true line we should all know of.
Darkness is one of the strongest forces in the universe to make us lost, but light can peer through showing us some direction where we are going.
Again, with some music based stuff for how you bring up God in this writing, it reminds me of the song "Love Me" by a Christian Metal band, Holy Soldier, that hits the meaning home for me when these lyrics are brought in,
"I've died inside
Open my eyes
God, are You still there?
It's up to You
To see me through"
I'll also check out Passion.
Sorry that this comment is a little long.
I felt the same way about a chick. Some of the words you wrote I also used towards her, but never though will I see her the same way again after we broke apart and never I think will she love me or I'll love her.
Great poem.
Yo, my river of imagination will never run dry as I have an ocean of imagination. Imagination I know is true that reaches to the deepest depths and spreads through out the world of creativity drowning me sometimes where I then wake up on a life boat looking out to the waters still searching again for a new discovery.
This was a great setup for the reader to receive the emotion when reading.
One thing that could be done is by having "You know my favourite song and I know yours" towards the beginning. When I read it, I felt drawn away from the progression of the whole idea or meaning behind this. Overall quality though was amazing.