Andy (Formerly Apemann)

MUCH better! However, there are still one or two silly punctuation errors. PLEASE use your computer's spell checker! A great improvement. Well done :-)

I'm not really sure what to make of your poem. Not that it's bad, because it isn't. It's just..., well... ODD :-) It doesn't seem to fit any conventional poetry style, which is no bad thing either. Ah well, there's nothing wrong in being different - and this poem is certainly that!

Interesting piece. You would have been better served using the more usual '...' rather than the double-hyphen to indicate pauses. It would also be more aesthetically pleasing. On the whole, though, not bad at all. :-)

A nice poem - but take more care with your punctuation. I look forward to reading more of your work in future :-)

I fear you may alienate more than you'll draw in with this piece. Religion is always a contentious subject and seemingly ramming your beliefs down the throats of your readers is not a good means by which to endear yourself. There are other, more subtle but equally effective ways of putting your message across without being so bullish about it.

As good as this is, we have seen far too many similar works on the site to make this stand out from a (now rather large) crowd. I would very much like to see you turn your talent to other subjects...

Nicely done, cleverly covering all those unspoken fears we all suffer with from time to time.

A good story well told. However, I found your introduction to the story annoying: I do not like to be told how I will feel before I have even begun to read a story. Please read my piece 'How to Write a Teaser'. You might find it helpful and informative...