Andy (Formerly Apemann)

Another interesting story. It has it's faults, but on the whole a good effort.

Short, simple, effective. Well done!

Interesting piece. You would have been better served using the more usual '...' rather than the double-hyphen to indicate pauses. It would also be more aesthetically pleasing. On the whole, though, not bad at all. :-)

Regrettably not all of your poems follow the true haiku 5-7-5 syllables rule. However, an interesting - if somewhat macabre - collection.

Interesting poem. Your credits in the 'author's notes' box are unnecessary...

A nice poem - but take more care with your punctuation. I look forward to reading more of your work in future :-)

I found the semi-religious undertone to this story somewhat off-putting, especially the 'preachy' last three paragraphs. They were annoying and unnecessary.

Overall, though, a nicely thought-through story told quite well. A creditable effort!

This is all rather esoteric for my taste. Of its kind, it is not a bad poem. I hope to read more from you that is perhaps grounded in real life rather than fantasy perhaps?