United States • 19 y/o • FemaleReviews Received
omg, i feel you!! ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Awww. I feel like that too sometimes. Nice job! I love your use of words! :)
WOAH, thats deep.
I don't know what to say!!
you explained all that!!
OMG!!
I can't feel the pain to lose a grandma!
I hope you are ok...
You can talk to me anytime
:)
XOXO,
Sansid
it's pretty cute and fairly relatable too.
The opening is good, it draws the reader in. The basic premise is promising.
You made a few mistakes with punctuation, there should be more commas and capital letters in some places. 'Its all right Emma, I'll come and get you' is one example; comma after Emma. One or two names start with lower case letters. Deal with that and this will be better still.
Wow!! Do you still talk to each other??
I am impressed!
Indeed they were best friends and sad that his mom died!
:(
I loved the idea but it had a few mistakes and errors in between.
XOXO,
Sansid
You're building suspense well, and I like the detail about her makeup running. There are a few spelling mistakes, 'her' when I think you meant 'here', but keep practising and you'll get better.