IanG

You're building suspense well, and I like the detail about her makeup running. There are a few spelling mistakes, 'her' when I think you meant 'here', but keep practising and you'll get better.

I'm glad they took in the cat, they did right there.

There is more awareness now than there used to be of adolescent mental health issues. Perhaps that will result in young people getting more support. Hold onto that hope.

I think the narrator would run between the fighting boys rather than walk between them.

As to the ending, a happy one would perhaps be too easy. The narrator has been associating with the paranormal and that's dangerous in many folk tales and horror stories.

I like the way you fuse the everyday with the sci-fi. Even in outer space daughters can be irritated by over-protective mothers. Her inner conflict over answering the call is believable and you wrote a good cliffhanger.

This is a moving and thoughtful piece, I enjoyed it. It didn't need to be scary.

This is an impressive piece for such a young writer. I can believe in your narrator and the plea for reconcilliation is heartfelt.

A lot of people will relate to this. Music can help us to release powerful emotions when nothing else does.