IanG

This is a good piece, it evokes both poverty and nature vividly.

There are some things we can control and others we can't. It may sound obvious, but we don't always identify what we can and can't control correctly. You may think that something is out of your hands, then find a way to influence events. Some people think they can solve anything and then find out they can't. Even adults sometimes misjudge situations. The main thing is to forgive yourself for mistakes and, if possible, do something to make amends or at least learn from said mistakes. We may never be perfect but we can get better.

As a walker I can relate to this. Only yesterday I tried a path that was new to me. Perhaps I should think more about the people who went this way before me.

Perhaps you could say 'at first he didn't realise the door was ajar,' as he clearly does realise eventually. Nonetheless its good for a first attempt. Your protagonist and his feelings are totally convincing.

I like your descriptive style and the scenario is convincing, keep it up.

'Thoughts of her would keep me up through the night' reads better than 'her thoughts would...etc.'

Nevertheless its a sharp and disturbing twist in the final lines. You handled that well. You do right in bringing smell as well as sight into your descriptions. Keep writing.

Your protagonist isn't the first person to want to save or reform someone they love. Its a common theme in stories and it can happen in real life. The would be saviour doesn't always succeed but it shows a good heart if they're trying. They need to be careful not to get dragged down by whoever they want to save, but its an interesting subject for a story,

I can sympathise. Its especially hard in a lockdown as there's no work/school/university to take our minds off things.

There are so many issues in the news its impossible for one person to tackle them all. If you can't fix everything don't be hard on yourself.