United Kingdom • 27 y/o • FemaleReviews Received
Your writing has come leaps and bounds from when I read your first submissions. I still think you need to stop rushing when you write. You also need to look at dialogue punctuation. This is how it works:
"I love you," he said. <- A comma when using dialogue tag (said).
"I love you." He embraced me. <- Capital letter and period when using an action tag (embrace).
This is still a vignette and not a whole story. But it's always good practice so keep it up!
This is an awesome little vignette. What I liked about it was the level of emotions you managed to pack into short space.
Think about two things when you write short fiction like this:
* Dialogue punctuation.
* What POV are you writing from?
While your poem isn't "bad", I just felt it to be somewhat rushed. It doesn't invoke any particular emotions or imagery in me. You've also got a typo on the penultimate line.
I really liked this poem. I feel slang can be used appropriately, and it definitely was in this one. I didn't really run into any snags other than a little in the beginning when I did see a small amount of "forced" rhyming. Otherwise I thought it was rather lovely
Honestly I don't see where Apemann is coming from. I really enjoy your work and I feel it is almost always complete. Don't take the mean comments to heart, some people just don't have a filter. Keep writing, you're fantastic :)
Really Good! It sounded as if it was a real book you could buy at a book store :)