Kiraa

Super good reflection on how the image-world we're all told to seek isn't always as satisfying as it seems

Everything about this intrigues me. Every single paragraph. On the edge of my seat yet desperately confused. One things for sure: whether this is a true story of you, or a made up story with a main character, the person telling the story has developed a selfless empathy. Wanting to take the hate out of someone else's heart for their own sake is a painful yet beautiful gift. Please write more.

This is really good and really powerful. The ability to reflect on yourself and your past is actually really hard to do. I especially like this sentence: "I saw you, bit by bit, the defeat slumping your shoulders, tainting your soul." The distance you've identified between you and your experiences and the old you all in one swirl mixed with your self-awareness is incredible. Super interesting stuff and written in an impactful way.

I really enjoyed the beginning where you describe this world, it's creative and intriguing. I also liked how you described the wonderful sides of these humans- their amazing power and harmonious peace- as well as the dark sides- them wanting to take over. It kind of shows the light and dark that's in everyone, and I enjoyed it.

very genuine and reflective, thanks for sharing this. I like how you tied the standards you have for love with everyone to the love you received/ didn't receive with your parents, that's really discerning of you- a lot of people don't connect the two when they truly are so connected. Just a couple things are the grammar, so for example "My standers for people dyed" should be "my standards for people died" and so forth. I can tell the piece came from your heart so thanks for that. Just know, you're allowed to feel anger and your anger is valid.

I like how you showed how the rose develops overtime and recovers and blooms again, as does love. I also enjoyed your use of the word "momentary" when you say "It brings momentary beauty with its blossom".

This poem reminds me of many things. The first is Jesus and the grace of God because you repeat how the shame has been washed- a concept that's used repeatedly to describe how our shame and past are all washed away through His grace.
I also love how you say "there's a rainbow in your heart" and describe all the negative as outside and positive as inside, hinting that goodness comes from within. I like how you said the "life in survived trees" because that hints there's been a massive storm and it stripped everything away until there was only the goodness left. Beautiful metaphors in this poem.
It also reminds me of the song After The Rain by Rev Theory, so that's good, too. Sometimes, storms do indeed bring clarity.

I like it a lot. Great metaphor and great ending. Use of structure was great- short when it needed to be and added to the tone. Good job